Every therapist has a theoretical framework that informs their practice. This means that we have a specific way of viewing people’s problems and how to solve them. My frame of reference is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. While people generally come in because they are having difficult feelings or body sensations, those are the two aspects of ourselves we are least able to change directly. What we can change are our thoughts and behaviors, which in turn have a direct effect on our feelings and what’s happening in our bodies.
In contrast to other forms of treatment, cognitive therapy is usually more focused on the present, more time-limited, and more problem-solving oriented. In addition, you learn specific skills that you can use for the rest of your life. Cognitive therapy is based on the cognitive model, which is simply that the way we perceive situations (our thoughts about them) influences how we feel about them. So, it’s not the situation that affects how you feel, but rather your thoughts about that situation. Part of what has drawn me to both EMDR and couples counseling using Emotionally Focused Therapy, is that our beliefs about ourselves and our perceptions of each other play a large part in both of those therapy processes.

Cognitive therapy is well known for treating depression and anxiety. When you are in distress, your thoughts are often distorted in some way, meaning that they are not completely true. Cognitive therapy helps you to identify your distressing thoughts and to evaluate how realistic or true they really are. Then you learn to reframe your thinking, which helps you to begin to see things differently, and notice things you were not aware of before. We tend to see what we expect to see, so by changing those expectations, we begin to see things more positively! The more positives we see, the better we feel, and the less true those negative beliefs become.

Here’s an example: I was shopping for a car and discovered this cute little convertible, the Honda del Sol. I asked the owner if this was a new model, since I’d never seen one before. He said, “Oh no, these have been around for years. I see them every day.” Well, needless to say I found that hard to believe, since I’d never seen one before in my life! But lo and behold, from that day forward, I too see the Honda del Sol on a daily basis. I now know they exist! And since I’m aware of them, I see them (everywhere!) It’s just the same with our beliefs. If we don’t know something exists, we won’t see it. Learning to consider the possibility that there are new ways of thinking or believing about ourselves and our lives allows us to begin to see and experience them for ourselves. I hope that you, too, will have your own Honda del Sol experience!