"Don’t be satisfied accepting where you are when where you could be is beautiful."
Judy Mae

Would you like to:
Feel happier in your relationship?
Feel appreciated, heard and understood?
Have your needs met?

If you are unhappy in your relationship, you may not feel appreciated, loved, respected, heard, or understood. You may believe that if only your partner would change, you would be happier. You may feel that you have made your requests very clear, and still your partner won’t change, or even listen. While this might seem like a communication problem, I think of it as a communication pattern problem.

I use Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), to help you recognize and change the patterns in your communication. Over 20 years of research has shown that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements using EFT.

EFT is different from other types of couples therapy. Some therapies teach you communication skills. While this seems like a good idea, the research shows that when you need them most, these skills are simply not available. It seems like they go right out the window. Most people are able to communicate just fine in most situations. It’s when we get into emotionally charged interactions with our partners that our skills fail. That's because your relationship is an attachment relationship, and what happens between you comes with layers of meaning. What EFT does is help you see and really get on a deep, visceral level what your partner’s words and actions mean to you, and how and why they affect you the way they do. Understanding this, in turn, allows you to begin to change the dance of your relationship, transforming your partnership from a battleground or a distant roommate situation to a safe haven.
Most couples wait an average of seven years before seeking help. This means that resentments can build up over time, and there may be lots of repair work to be done. While it’s certainly possible to make those repairs, it’s much easier and faster to nip the problem in the bud, before things escalate. If you are considering couples therapy, the time to act is now!

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or reach me by phone at 916-690-4856.

I look forward to hearing from you